The following is a list of common questions and answers regarding funerals and the bereavement process.

If death is sudden or unexpected, call 9-1-1 to notify the police and the coroner's office. If death was expected, and the deceased was under the care of a physician or health care nurse, then a call to 9-1-1 is not required. A call to your local funeral home should be made as soon as you can.

There are many decisions to be made after the passing of a loved one, and funeral directors are experienced in helping families with this process. Ask a trusted friend or family member to recommend a funeral home they know.

An appointment will be made to discuss arrangements and details, like:

• Have advanced plannings been made by the deceased?
• What type of service is preferred: burial, cremation, or mausoleum?
• Has a cemetery been chosen?
• Other personal information about the deceased to register the death with the local government.
• The funeral director will also help you select a casket, music, floral tributes, custom stationery, an officiate for the ceremony, and can help write the newspaper notice if desired.

All details will be arranged with utmost care to ensure the service is a personal reflection of the life of the deceased, honoring their unique contribution and meeting the needs of the surviving members of the family.

When a death is expected, there are a couple of considerations for immediate and future care:

• Is medical care needed for the individual?
• If so, alternatives include general hospital palliative care units; auxiliary hospitals; provincial and private nursing homes; hospices; or in-home nursing care.

This time can be used to plan or make funeral arrangements. Sometimes, this is difficult for the person involved, so a family member may be asked to make arrangements once death has occurred. If possible, try to discuss preferences beforehand.

Discuss the location of originals for all important business and personal documents, and make a list (and photocopies) so they are easily accessible when they are needed.

When caring for a dying person, make sure you take care of yourself and/or your family's emotional needs.

• Share your experiences with other family members or close friends.
• Allow friends to help with small tasks, or by giving you time off.
• If you belong to a church or synagogue, talk to the clergy for spiritual support don't try to get through this time alone - even a little support can help.

Think about what will make the ceremony unique, personal, and meaningful to the family. Then, use these guidelines to find a funeral home who can accommodate your requests, since all have different services and facilities available.

Ask the following questions of the funeral home - they should answer this information without obligation.

• Has the funeral home been in business a long time in your city?
• Is the funeral home locally owned, or part of a larger national organization?
• Are they involved in local community organizations or activities?
• Do they have a good reputation for meeting the needs of families?
• Is their geographic location convenient and is their building handicap accessible?
• Can they provide all services required at their own location?
• Do they have small and large chapels to accommodate different size groups?
• Do they offer special services for ethnic cultures, and have an excellent understanding of cultural customs and traditions?
• Do they offer unique monument ideas, such as special tree planting memorials?

These are just some of the questions to ask when selecting a funeral home. It's important to choose a licensed funeral home with a good reputation, whom you feel comfortable with.

As with most services, there is a great variety of funeral services available to you, in a wide range of prices. To compare funeral homes, the best approach is to make inquiries before a death occurs, or get referrals from a trusted friend or family member.

Some considerations are whether the funeral home is familiar with different ethnic cultures or customs as part of the funeral service, and whether they have the special equipment or rooms set aside to meet these requests.

Many families need a place to meet after the service, but not all funeral homes have reception rooms with catering facilities right on location.

It may be important to you to know whether the funeral home is family-owned and operated, or part of a larger national organization.

Some funeral homes offer special services like personalized service folders, unique memorials such as tree plantings, and traditional limousines.

Over a few short days, funeral directors handle an estimated two to three hundred activities, requiring about 40-to-45 hours to arrange. Funeral directors are experienced in all legal, medical, cultural and religious procedures to provide the family with caring, individual counsel, and to ensure the funeral is as stress-free and meaningful as it can be.

Funeral directors are also aware of special services - such as financial benefits available to veteran's families, widows or persons with limited resources - and can help families access this information easily. Some funeral homes also offer service referrals for individuals needing help dealing with loss in the months or years that follow.

All funeral directors in Alberta (Canada) are graduates of a regulated, professional college program. Upon successful completion of a combination of education and on-the-job training, each funeral director is licensed, and continuing education is a post-graduate requirement to maintain their license. Funeral service career information is available from the Alberta Funeral Service Association at (403) 274-1922 in Calgary, Alberta.

Fee for professional services.
Professional services vary depending on the funeral service requested, but usually include transportation of the deceased, completing legal documents for the coroner, securing burial or cremation permits, embalming, consultation with the family, clergy or cemetery staff, providing staff for the funeral service, use of the funeral home's chapel and facilities, and use of funeral vehicles.

Purchase or rental of a casket and/or cremation container.
Depending on whether the deceased will be buried, cremated, or placed in a mausoleum, the purchase of these items, and a monument will need to be arranged. Other items such as memorial booklets or personalized service cards may also be provided for guests attending the service.

Cemetery costs
In Alberta (Canada), burial must be made in registered cemeteries. Costs vary widely, so ask your cemetery or funeral home about burial costs and options. If cremation is requested, there are fees for cremation, and placement of the deceased in a cemetery or mausoleum.

Additional options
These include newspaper notices, musicians, clergy honorariums, and flowers. Each service is a personal reflection of the life of the deceased, so costs can vary considerably.

If you are comparing different funeral homes, remember there is more to consider than costs - some funeral homes offer more services than others, or unique services to better serve the family. It can also be a good idea to visit the funeral home facilities before making a decision so that you are better informed.

• Make an estate inventory, or a complete record of all important business and personal documents, detailing where each original document can be found.
• Notify financial institutions of the death, starting with personal and joint bank accounts.
• Consider keeping joint accounts open for a few months, to allow the spouse the option of continuing to deposit cheques in the deceased's name.
• If accounts are not joint, funds could be frozen until the estate is settled, so you may need to draw on other investments temporarily.
• Check outstanding balances on credit cards or loan agreements and make arrangements for payment.
• Find the deceased's original life insurance policy and contact the agent.
• Check if you are eligible for death benefit payments or pensions, as failure to apply could result in lost payments if you are eligible (see other questions on this site, or contact Martin Bros for information on benefits available).
• Ensure an individual tax return is filed for the deceased according to requirements in your country.

Financial advisors, accountants or lawyers should also be contacted for more information on any of these subjects.

The Last Post Fund will not cover such items as an organist, service folders or flowers, and some restrictions may apply regarding the burial site or cemetery location. Families may upgrade the basic service or type of casket at their own expense.

To be eligible, applicants must meet the following requirements:

• The total value of the veteran's estate must not exceed $12,015 for a married veteran, plus $2,060 for each dependent child.
• Eligibility is calculated using both the veteran's and spouse's assets after funeral expenses, excluding the value of the house and one automobile.
• A veteran who is widowed, divorced or separated is treated as a single person and is eligible to an estate maximum of $5,000.

Similar financial assistance is offered to deceased members of the National Defense of Canada to cover funeral expenses and a casket, to a maximum of $3,675 to $4,190.

Death benefit to cover funeral expenses.
The one-time death benefit payment is paid to the deceased's estate, up to a maximum of $2,500, based on the length of time contributions to CPP have been made.

Monthly pension for survivors.
Surviving spouses and dependent children may receive a pension if the deceased contributed to CPP for three consecutive years or more (some restrictions apply).

For those who qualify, surviving spouses may receive:

• A maximum pension of up to $451 per month (depending on age, whether they receive other pensions, and length of time contributions were made).
• Up to $171.33 per month for each dependent child - a dependent child is defined as being under 18 years of age, or between 18 and 25 and in full-time attendance at school, college or university.
• Benefits from the month after the contributor's death.

These benefits are paid only to those who apply, and although back payments may be made, failure to apply within a year of the death will result in lost benefits. Applications may be made to Health and Welfare Canada, Income Security Program. Call toll free 1-800-277-9914 for more information.

This assistance is available to those not eligible for Canada Pension Plan (CPP) benefits, and in most cases is offered to persons already receiving assistance from Alberta Family and Social Services. Assistance may also be offered to persons who are under the Assured Income for Severely Handicapped (AISH) program.

And, for low-income widows and widowers between 55 and 64 years living in Alberta, the Alberta Widow's Pension is available through Alberta Family and Social Services. To qualify, the widowed person must be a non-sponsored immigrant, born in Canada, or have been a resident of Canada for 10 years or more, and have a yearly income below $12,000.

You must apply to receive Widow's Pension benefits and payments are not retroactive, so it's recommended you apply as soon as possible after death has occurred. For further information on either of these programs, contact Martin Bros. Funeral Chapel at (403) 328-2361 or toll free at 1-800-382-2901.

Financial assistance for funerals is also available from the Worker's Compensation Board, when a work-related death occurs. Although certain criteria must be met, the Board will pay up to $1,300 for costs resulting from the work-related death, and up to $8,150 for burial, cremation, funeral or memorial services for the worker. An additional $500 to $1,000 may also available for transportation of the deceased. The Worker's Compensation Board also pays monthly survivor's benefits to a maximum of $2,285 per month, and $179 per month for a dependent child. Alberta residents should call the Worker's Compensation Board in Edmonton at (403) 427-1216 (collect) for more information.

The Crimes Compensation Board also awards benefits for victims of violent crimes which occur in Alberta. To receive the benefit, an application must be filed, and a decision is made by the Board after a review hearing. Forms are available from the Crimes Compensation Board in Edmonton by calling the toll-free government operator at 310-0000 and asking to be connected to 427-7217.

Some airlines offer discounts or deferred payment for immediate family members who require a flight to attend a funeral (each airline's definition of "immediate family" varies). Check with individual airlines for a list of who qualifies, and procedures for applying for the discount before you book your flight.

Some airlines take information verbally; others require the full fare be paid and a refund applied for after the funeral service. Be prepared to provide information about the deceased, and the name and phone number of the funeral home, if the airline wants to contact them for confirmation. You may also have to provide a copy of the ticket, boarding pass, the Funeral Director's Statement of Death, and a short note regarding your relationship to the deceased.

Air Canada has a "Bereavement Fare" that offers up to a 75% discount on all "full price" tickets for family members who have booked a "return flight" to attend a funeral. If you have paid full fare at the time of the funeral, contact Air Canada's Refund Service to apply for a refund after the funeral service.

With advance notification, WestJet Airlines will offer family members who are attending a funeral a change from a full-fare flight cost to the lowest fare offered by WestJet. If the full fare has already been paid, they will issue a credit to be used the next time you fly with WestJet.

North West Territories Air, Air BC, and Delta Airlines all discount 50% from the full price of a return ticket for travel within Canada and the United States only. In some cases, only Economy Class fares are eligible.

A ceremony is important for many reasons: in some religions, it is the event which marks the transition from life to after-life; in others, it's one step towards a higher level of existence.

Whatever your belief, a ceremony provides others the opportunity to acknowledge and remember achievements of the life of the deceased, to mark their passing in a significant way, and provides comfort, sympathy, and meaning to survivors.

A funeral also helps some accept the reality of death, and allows us to share our grief with others. The funeral ceremony can provide the opportunity for friends to show they care about the bereaved, and to offer their support during a difficult time.

For loved ones, seeing the deceased committed to earth can be a painful but important ritual. It helps some accept the reality of death - often the first important step towards healing.

Direct disposition, where the deceased is buried without a formal viewing, visitation or ceremony, is another option, but experts on grief feel that healing can take longer if the loved one isn't memorialized in some way. A funeral ceremony or memorial service allows loved ones to share grief together and publicly celebrate the life of the one they loved.

If the family chooses burial, the funeral director helps with the selection of a casket. There is a wide selection of choices and prices ranging from several hundred dollars to several thousand, depending on the type of casket.

Graveside markers are often added to the cemetery plot, either before the service or weeks later. Find out the options available at your cemetery, as some do have restrictions about the type of marker. Some cemeteries also require the purchase of a vault in conjunction with burial, while other cemeteries do not - be sure to ask what your options are.

Families have a choice between a funeral service, where the casket or cremated remains are present in an urn or other container, or a memorial service where the cremated remains are not present. A memorial service can be held anywhere - in a church, funeral home, chapel, community hall, hotel, private club or family home, and is usually within a few days or weeks of the death.

For final disposition, the urn or container is usually buried in a cemetery plot, placed in a columbarium above ground, or scattered at the cemetery gardens. Or, families can choose to scatter ashes in another place of significance. Cemeteries vary regarding arrangements for ashes, so it's best to check with the individual cemetery.

Burial
Some cemeteries have urn gardens for burial of an urn, above-ground columbariums, or will allow burial in the family plot, while others have scattering grounds as part of the cemetery.

Memorial Vessels
Cremation allows the family to retain the cremated remains, either in one urn or a number of smaller ones to distribute among family. Some people place a small portion of cremated remains in a memorial vessel, such as a necklace or bracelet.

Scattering
Scattering cremated remains in a meaningful location can be considered. Sometimes the family marks the site with a small memorial plaque so it can later be revisited. Since scattering is irreversible, it's best to think about it in advance, as grieving persons sometimes make choices they later wish they hadn't.

In Alberta (Canada), scattering cannot occur over water, but is permitted on most crown and public lands, and national parks, but permission must always be obtained ahead of time.

If you are uncertain about different cultural or religious backgrounds, and this has kept you from attending a funeral or expressing sympathy, a little knowledge can help. Here are a few examples of customs and traditions which can be part of a funeral service (examples may vary according to personal tastes and beliefs):

• Native or Plains Indians play drums and sing honor songs or personal songs belonging to the deceased. Sweetgrass is sometimes burned as a ritual or prayer.
• Buddhists ring a bell to the start the funeral. After the funeral service - which takes place in a temple or funeral home - a memorial service is held every 7th day for 49 days, and family and friends are encouraged to attend.
• Those attending a Chinese funeral may receive a white envelope with candy and money inside. The candy is to sweeten the bitter taste of death, and the money is for luck, since death is considered a bad omen.
• For Jewish persons, death and mourning are of enormous significance, with many religious rites taking place during a period of mourning. Friends are encouraged to make a charitable donation rather than sending flowers, since a memorial tribute shows community support and honors the memory of the loved one.

• A ceremony in a funeral home can include thoughts on life and death, a tribute to the life of the deceased, and special musical selections or poetry readings.
• The person officiating can be a funeral director, or someone close to the deceased or the family.
• Many choose to hold the ceremony in a senior's lodge, nursing home or other long-term care facility.
• The service can be kept to immediate family, without extending a general invitation.
• Families may choose to have only a graveside memorial ceremony.
• If the ceremony is a small, or by invitation only, a public notice in the newspaper can often help inform friends and colleagues of the person's passing.
• One alternative is no ceremony at all, called an immediate or direct disposition.

When making decisions about a funeral service, remember the service can have great importance for friends and colleagues who wish to show their support or pay last respects.

Not having a funeral can make others believe you don't wish to see them, and can result in hurt feelings. Experts believe it's best to hold a public service and let others decide whether to come or not.

Many funeral homes will prepare your wishes in writing and keep them on file at the funeral home, without having to pay. Or, an estimate can be obtained and you can prepay in advance, locking in the cost of the funeral at today's price.

Different payment options exist for advanced planning, so check with the funeral home. Term financing may be available, and many funeral homes also take credit cards. Some provinces require that advanced planning funds only be accepted by licensed funeral homes, and funds are placed with the Public Trustee or a trust company. Prepayment is refundable any time upon written request.

Many funeral homes offer advanced planning assistance without obligation, and this information can be provided to you in person or sent to your home to review at your own convenience. If you would like more detailed information you may visit our Pre-Planning section within this website.

Draw up a "short list" of two or three funeral homes in your area. Most funeral homes will give you information over the phone or by mail, but it may be helpful to make an appointment to discuss the funeral process in person.

Prepare for this meeting in advance:

• Ask yourself about preferences you have regarding the service: traditional or non-religious.
• Would you want to be buried or cremated?
• Do you have a particular cemetery in mind?
• What type of music would best reflect your life and passions?
• Are there readings or poems that would add meaning to your ceremony?
• Are there other gestures you would include? (i.e. having a tree planted in your memory; having a faithful pet in attendance; releasing balloons; integrating important cultural traditions).
• Provide information about people who need to be notified in the event of your death.
• Make a list of important papers, such as wills or insurance policies, and their location.
• Remember to mention religious affiliation, cultural customs, or other meaningful items that could be included in the service.
• Think about personal information relating to your life you might want to include in a newspaper notice.

If you find yourself hesitating about making these plans, it's natural -discussing and planning for death can be surprisingly difficult. Whether you write your own instructions, or get the help of a funeral home, it's important to let someone know where the information is, so it can easily be found by survivors at the time of death. If you would like further information you may also visit our Pre-Planning section within this website.

Attend the visitation and funeral if you can - your presence will be a great comfort to those who are grieving. It's not necessary to say much - even "I'm sorry" will mean a lot. Don't try to come up with something profound about life and death, and don't say "I know how you feel" because everybody experiences grief in their own way.

If you cannot attend the service or visitation, send a sympathy card with a little note and talk about special things you remember about the deceased. Your perspective or story will likely provide family with fresh memories they may not have known.

Other expressions include:

• Sending flowers to the service, or a plant to the home.
• Offer to phone friends and colleagues to notify them of the death.
• Provide babysitting for the family while arrangements are being made.
• Pick up relatives at the airport.
• Provide baking for the reception after the service, or provide a casserole for the family.
• Offer to answer the door or phone for the family, and keep a record of those who called.
• On the day of the service, offer to stay behind to ensure the house is not empty, as a precaution against theft.
• A memorial contribution.

The best way to cope is to recognize grief as a normal reaction to death. Draw on the support of friends and family, and share your honest feelings. You should be able to mention your loved one's name without fear of ruining someone else's day.

Grief is a very necessary process on the path to healing, so be patient with yourself. Counseling should be considered when a person seems to have changed or is acting differently - like becoming unusually withdrawn, fearful or suspicious, acting overwhelmed, expressing a wish to die, or drinking to the point that it's interfering with their daily responsibilities.

Your funeral director will have information about support groups in your area, or you can contact a clergy member, mental health professional or a crisis telephone line for guidance. You may be surprised to find your experiences are completely normal.

The choices for memorials are wide and varied. Some ideas for unique memorials include:

• Having a stained glass window added to a church to recognize a loved one.
• Donating a park bench to a city park and having it inscribed with your loved one's name.
• Creating a memorial home-page on the Internet or world-wide-web.
• Planting a tree in honor of a loved one who has died.
• Placing a grave marker in the cemetery (check the marker requirements with each cemetery).

For those who have chosen cremation, many options exist for memorials surrounding the cremated remains:

• An urn can be purchased for burial or placement in an above-ground columbarium.
• Create a special memorial vessel to hold the cremated remains, such as a necklace or bracelet.

Whatever permanent memorial selected, these unique reminders are a source of comfort for families and friends, because they are something to return to for generations to come.